Bible Study Notes:

Children and Parents Ephesians 6:1-4

These notes are from a transcript of the postings during Bible Study on Thursday Nights at 8 PM at Bible Study Chat at
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Thank you Jesus for your abiding LOVE. We rejoice in YOUR presence tonight, glorifying you and giving you praise!

Father God we thank you for the blessings you have put on this ministry at Churchusa, and pray for even more. We pray your blessings and protection on James, Suebq, and all the monitors. Bless all those who chat here, whether they deserve it or not. AMEN

Father God, we rejoice in your Word that you have given us to help us grow in your grace. We are so grateful to live in a free country where we can meet together freely to study about you. Lord, we remember our persecuted brothers and sisters in Pakistan, Indonesian, Brunei, Africa and all over the world. Give them strength and holy boldness. In Jesus Name.

satan we come against all of your schemes to sow discord, and to disrupt this session in Jesus Name. We bind you, rebuke you, EXPOSE you and cast you out in Jesus Name AMEN satan we bind your feet so that you cannot walk among us. We bind your hands so that you cannot touch us. we bind your mouth so that you cannot speak to us in the name of our savior, Jesus the Christ you are bound up and cast out. eternally secure - amen

Holy Spirit we invite you to be our trainer tonight. Guide us into to path of light. Give us supernatural revelation, wisdom and understanding as we open the precious Word of God. In Jesus Name, AMEN and AMEN

Last time we were talking about one of the results of being filled with the Spirit in Ephesians 5:18: Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit. And that is SUBMISSION.

Submission is to voluntarily make yourself subject to another. And we spoke of it in two areas. The first was in 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ". Our motivation is reverance for Christ and our enablement is being filled with the Spirit.

The second area was in marriage, and we spoke of the mutuality of the marriage relationship. We spoke of marriage as a partnership, being joint heirs with Christ, and with the husband being the head, kephale, which means spiritual leadership, training and protection (covering) as the priest of the family.

I'd like to mention one more point about the last verse we covered:

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Notice that failure to treat each other with the proper love and respect WILL HINDER your prayers. The marriage relationship is so important to God and so powerful in the spiritual world that the partners MUST be "in tune" to have an effective prayer life. If you are "out of sorts" with your partner, you need to make things right to have prayers answered promptly and effectively. Their prayers will be HEARD, but will be HINDERED, that iswill not be fulfilled in as timely a manner and perhaps in the way they want.

Now we're ready to talk about Ephesians 6:1!

Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

The Greek word for children here is teknon {tek'-non} and means both 1) offspring, children AND 2) in the NT, pupils or disciples are called children of their teachers, because the latter by their instruction nourish the minds of their pupils and mould their characters So it applies both to our natural children and our "spiritual" children.

Obey is hupakouo {hoop-ak-oo'-o} 1) to listen, to harken to a command, to obey, be obedient to, submit to. It is used to describe a porter, one who comes to listen at the door to see who it is. Obey carries the idea of dutiful obedience, used of a parent to a child or master to a slave. This IS a ruler/subject relationship, and obedience is required, not optional.

The Greek word here for parents is goneus {gon-yooce'} fathers, parent, the parents, which has the connotation of genesis - from where you were generated.

Proverbs 6:20 My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

Now this type of obedience is complete submission in love to the instructions of the parents. Notice that it says "in the Lord", so it does NOT include being made to to anything illegal or immoral or against the Holy Scriptures. "For this is right" - this puts you in right standing with God and man, makes you "righteous". Remember that this command comes AFTER we submit to each other in love, and AFTER the husband and wife are in proper relationship. In that setting, the parents are in right relationship with each other, with God and with other believers. So they are in the perfect position to teach their children how to live a righteous life.

OK, this is the ideal. Let's get real. All homes are not in order this way. Should children STILL obey?

Cowgirl - Why YES!!!!!!!!!

To put it another way, does your parents lack of Christian virtue give you the right to rebell against their authority.

Cowgirl - No rebellion is a spirit.....

This may seem to be obvious, but kids have a way of justifying their actions because they believe their parents are at fault in some way. The bottom line is OBEDIENCE. Whether or not the parents are perfect (and I don't know any who are), the child is still to obey them, as I said, IN THE LORD. In another place Paul says:

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Then Paul goes further in saying:

Ephesians 6:2-3 "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

Honor:is timao {tim-ah'-o} 1) to estimate, fix the value , of something belonging to one's self, 2) to honour, to have in honour, to revere, venerate. To give your parents honor, you first have to give them value = they are worthy of your respect. Now this respect is primarily for their POSITION. They are due respect because they are our parents and God says so.

Today in our world, we are a nation of victims, always looking for someone ELSE to blame for our problems, failures and shortcomings. Parents are easy targets, because let's face it parenting is the toughest job you were NEVER trained for, and you have room to make PLENTY of mistakes.

But the Bible doesn't say Honor your father and mother if they were always good, happy, and gave you everything you deserved. NO, it says Honor your father and mother. PERIOD

Now, I do know that some parents neglect and abuse their children, and God is NOT pleased or acceptive of that behavior. And I know that if your parents were that way, you have a lot to work through.

But for the majority of us, our parents were not evil, just not perfect. And we honor them because they are our source of generation - without them we would not be here at all to honor any body.

There is not only a tremendous lack of honor for parents in our society, but we see a lot of TV shows and movies with kids as being heroes of the day over their STUPID, square, uncool or whatever parents. We have taught at least 4 generations this bogus attitude, and it shows no signs of stopping yet. Being young is cool, being old is laughable.

WISDUMA - You hit the nail on the head there.

Now this commandment comes with a promise "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Why would honoring your parents cause you to have a prosperous, long and enjoyable life here on earth?

WISDUMA - OT--because by honoring them you are honoring God…- because you'll have a happier disposition and because you have a happier disposition you'll be healthier person and because you're healthier you'll live longer????

Some of the reasons honoring your parents brings you prosperity, etc. is that guided by their wisdom, you will make better decisions, obeying the Lord brings blessing, and a respectful attitude will translate into every day life. Also, since it is promised by God, it is a sure thing!

Let's talk about what "honor". It means respect - to SHOW high admiration or esteem for a person, to show polite regard and consideration for them. Honor means "to revere" - to regard with respect tinged with awe. The older I get, the more I am awed by my parents and how they raised me under difficult circumstances. Honor means "to venerate" - to regard with deferential or religious respect.

How do we honor a parent that if we feel we can't respect them? Respect in our culture is "earned" - we say "you have to earn my respect". Or if someone does something that we do not approve of, we say that we "lose respect" for them. This is not Biblical.

WISDUMA - like OT said the bible says we are to obey our parents in the Lord, for this is right. Not that this is right when they deserve to be honored or when they are "good" parents, but all the time we are to honor them.

In the Scriptures, respect is DUE a person because of their position, whether or not we think they've earned it or deserve. Let me give you an example. My father was an alcoholic. At one time I hated him for it. If you have had to live with an alcoholic you will understand. If not, it's hard to tell you how bad it can be.

But I did not respect or honor him. I didn't believe he deserved it. I wasted a lot of time in being resentful, bitter and throwing "pity parties" for myself. I was a Christian then also, though not very mature. And the Lord started speaking to me about this very verse. "Honor your father". But Lord, he doesn't deseve it. "Honor your father." But Lord look at what he's doing. "Honor your father".... I finally said, OK, we'll do it YOUR way (grumble grumble grumble).

So I began to look for ways to honor him, to show him respect, and to

show him love.

It didn't happen overnight, and it took a lot of discipline to honor him even when he was drinking. Drunk or sober he was my father and was DUE my honor. First of all it changed ME. I learned to be respectful and it brought me closer to the Lord. Gradually he began to change. And three years before he died, he was totally delivered of alcohol and cigarettes and gave his heart to the Lord! Hallelujah!

Would he have been saved if I had continued to disrespect him? Maybe not... But there's more....

Shimmer - OT-I relate FULLY to what you are speaking of. My father accepted Jesus the very day he died, because, like you, I had to learn to HONOR him...

I went through a period of extreme illness and intense spiritual oppression after that. And I called him EVERY day for about a year and had the priviledge of having a godly father pray me through. Without him I probably would have died. All because I obeyed Ephesians 6:2-3!

Father God, teach us how to honor our parents as is their due, and to overcome the difficulties that have come between us. Give us holy wisdom and supernatural love. In Jesus Name. AMEN

You know sometimes people that are DUE honor, like our parents, do not behave honorably because we refuse to give them their due.

Shimmer - very good point; almost like "self-fulfilling prophesy"


Proverbs 19:26-27 He who robs his father and drives out his mother is a son who brings shame and disgrace. Stop listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.

What happens if you DON'T honor your father and mother? What happens if you stop listening to them? It will cause shame and disgrace, and you will become a stray, lost from the flock, subject to snarling wolves and prowling bears.

1 Samuel 15:23 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king. (KJV)

The Bible says that rebellion is as bad as witchcraft. I sometimes think that rebellion is the root of all sin. It caused Lucifer to be cast out of Heaven. It causes us to disobey our parents and God's laws and get into all sorts of trouble.

When we are in rebellion, it hardens our hearts and makes it harder for us to come back to the Lord.

Hebrews 3:7-8 So, as the Holy Spirit says, "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did during the time of testing [rebellion] in the desert.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Exasperate - parorgizo {par-org-id'-zo} to rouse to wrath, to provoke, exasperate, anger How do fathers provoke or exasperate their children?

Fathers do not have the right to treat their children abusively, to provoke them to be angry, to treat them harshly. In Bible times, children were property and a father had absolute control. Here Paul is telling fathers not to rule their children harshly, but to guide them so that they would come to know the Lord as Savior, and be trained purposefully toward that end.

Training or Nuture, in the Greek paideia {pahee-di'-ah}, encompsses the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment) It also includes the training and care of the body.

Genesis 18:18-19 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him."

Notice that God told Abraham to direct his children to keep the way of the Lord, and it was part of what he needed to do to bring about what was promised to him.

Deuteronomy 6:7 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

We talked before about the spiritual training of children. It can't be something left to chance or to an hour of Sunday School a week. Parents, particularly fathers, are supposed to talk about the Bible at home, walkikng, lying down, geting up, and so on.

If your father failed in his duty to train you this way, then look to God the Father to train you now. He'll speak to you lovingly at home, when you are walking, when you are resting, when you get up - and will reveal His heart of love for you.

Instruction, admonition, exhortation or warning in the Greek is nouthesia {noo-thes-ee'-ah} which specifically includes training in areas in which satan seeks to trap us.

Psalm 19:9-11 The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

The father's responsibility towards his children is awesome and heavy at times. Look at all the households that are headed by women, with no father to shoulder the responsibility of training the children. No wonder our crime rate is growing by leaps and bounds. Now I don't say this to discourage those mothers who are being forced to take care of their children alone. But I do say, where are the fathers? And if the father is not available, or not godly, where are the Christian men who should be standing in the gap for them?

This is a good place to stop. Next time we will start with verse 5. Now here Paul is talking about slaves and masters and at first it doesn't seem to have much to do with us. But "tune in" next time and you'll learn something new!

Father God we know that your great heart of love aches for those who have not had a godly father's love. Lord we pray that you will convict godly men to stand in the gap for these spiritual "orphans" and show them a father's love. For those godly fathers out there, Lord we pray that you will give them strength and wisdom to carry out their duties for your sake.

Shimmer - Yes, Lord, we ask you touch them and bring them your special Love that will lead them to you and your Word...

God help the children out there, young or old, natural or spiritual, to honor their parents because honor is due them. Teach them how to forgive old hurts. Heal the childhood wounds that still haunt them. Bring healing to families we pray in Jesus Name.

Thank You Father for all those who gathered here tonight. Grant them all peace and your wonderful love in the comming week. In the name of Jesus. AMEN

Help children to obey and not rebell. Help them to see that their parents are put here to train, instruct and protect them, that they may be righteous, prosperous, healthy and happy.

Father God plant your Word deep tonight into all who have heard it. Let it take fruit and grow. In Jesus Name. AMEN

Blessings and grace upon you all in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. AMEN

Remember, whenever God gives us a revelation, the devil tries to steal it from us. Guard your hearts and meditate on what you've learned!
And put it into practice.

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