Offenses will either kill ya or cure ya

To offend is to cause resentful displeasure, to affect (the sense, taste, etc.) 
disagreeably, to err in conduct, to affront, hurt, insult or provoke.

Matthew 18:7 (KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs 
be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! 

Offense here is in the Greek skandalon {skan'-dal-on} ("scandal") translated 
offence 9, stumbling block 3, occasion of stumbling 1, occasion to fall 1, thing 
that offends 1; meaning the movable stick or trigger of a trap, a trap stick or a 
snare; any impediment placed in the way and causing one to stumble or fall;  a 
rock which is a cause of stumbling, figuratively applied to Jesus Christ, whose 
person and career were so contrary to the expectations of the Jews concerning 
the Messiah, that they rejected him and by their obstinacy made shipwreck of 
their salvation; or any person or thing by which one is entrapped or drawn into 
error or sin.

Jesus said offenses WILL come - it's an unavoidable fact of life. So the problem 
is, when I am offended, how do I deal with it?

Remember that the root word translated offense means "a trap".

Seems to me there are two options:

1) Get ticked off about it, yell and scream, jump up and down and tear your hair, 
tell everyone who will listen (and even those that really don't want to know) how 
upset you are, how hurt you are, and how bad the offender is. Then throw a big 
pity party and dance a jig on the offender's grave. 

Create a Whiner's Club and invite anyone who ever was offended, or thought 
they were offended, or might someday be offended, or know somebody who 
knows somebody who was offended by this person to get together and moan and 
groan about all these horrible offenses. What were they anyway? No matter, let 
me see how may scriptures I can look up that will justify my behavior, and let me 
look around and see who I can blame for all this discord. 

Well, this MIGHT make you feel better, unless you get a coronary over it, but is 
THIS the way Christians are supposed to act? Walking in unforgiveness, 
bitterness and rebellion? (Notice that you took the bait and fell into the trap that 
the devil set for you.)

2) Or step back and consider what is going on. Why am I upset about this thing? 
What is the trap that the devil has set for me? Was something done TO me, or 
am I taking up someone else's offense? 

If I'm taking up someone else's offense, how is this different from gossiping, 
which is a sin? How can I be sure of all the facts? What if this person I'm 
defending turns out to be a liar? And then I'd be guilty of bearing false witness. 
Or what if they were being corrected for a fault, and now I'm in the middle of it? 
Or what if they "make up" with the offender, and I end up getting blamed for the 
whole fiasco?

If I am the one offended, what does the Bible say I should do about it? Ever 
heard of the word "forgive"? To forgive is to cease to blame or feel resentment 
about an offense or an offender, to cancel or let off the debt of the offense, to 
excuse or pardon.

How about Jesus' COMMAND to "love your enemies"? How about love's 
definition in I Corinthians 13: "Love keeps no record of wrongs"? How about 
"Father forgive them for they know not what they do"? Or "Do unto others as you 
would have them do unto you"?

Think about it: Since Jesus said that offenses WILL come - then He is allowing 
them to come. Why? To see how you will react, to see how strong your love and 
commitment to obey is, to help reveal YOUR ragged edges and perfect your 
faith. 

We usually react the strongest to offenses that irritate one of our own character 
flaws. But if we react in anger, then we are missing the lesson that the offense 
could have provided. And we will find that lesson being repeated until we do 
learn it.

What if the offender doesn't apologize? That is really immaterial to your reaction, 
isn't it? Did Jesus say, "Forgive only if they apologize and humble themselves 
and promise never to do it again"? I don't recall any verse to that effect.

There is really a third option here, which seems to me to be the best one:

3) Decide ahead of time, that since offenses  WILL come, and since reacting in 
anger to them only causes MORE problems, doesn't solve a thing, and springs 
the trap that the devil has set for you, decide NOT to RECEIVE the offense. No 
matter what someone says or does, don't "take it personally". 

It may interest you to know that many took offense with Jesus. Surely you don't 
want to joint THAT crowd: Matthew 13:57 And they took offense at him. But 
Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet 
without honor."

And don't take up another's offenses. It is their responsibility to deal with the 
offender, not you. And the matter ends there. 

Maybe you're not at this level of maturity yet - maybe you're struggling with #2. 
But at least this could be your goal. "Father forgive them for they know not what 
they do".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isaiah 44:22 "I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the 
morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." 

Philippians 1:10 That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be 
sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~