What if your brother or sister in Christ sins against you? 

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he 
listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others 
along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he 
refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat 
him as you would a pagan or a tax collector." (Matthew 18:15-17)

“Sins against” in this passage in Greek is hamartano {ham-ar-tan'-o} and is translated sin, 
trespass, offend, for your faults.  It means to be without a share in, to miss the mark, to err, be 
mistaken, to miss or wander from the path of uprightness and honor, to do or go wrong, to 
wander from the law of God, violate God's law, or sin. 

This does not mean that if you don’t like someone or that someone irritates you, that you should 
make a big deal of it. This also does not apply to offenses that you have returned – such as 
taking part in a heated argument where you are also at fault. In that case you should go to the 
one you’ve offended and apologize for your fault.

 But if your brother and sister in Christ sins against you – such as defrauding you, bearing false 
witness against you, stealing from you or committing adultery with your spouse, etc., then follow 
the procedure laid out by Jesus as recorded by Matthew. First of all DO NOT gossip about the 
offense, but go to that brother or sister and try to work things out.

1. Jesus said: Go to him alone and show him his fault. 

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he 
listens to you, you have won your brother over.” (Matthew 18:15)

2. If he will not listen, go again and take one or two others along. 
Every matter must be established by 2 or 3 witnesses.
 
“But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by 
the testimony of two or three witnesses.' “(Matthew 18:16, see also Deuteronomy 
19:15)

3.  If he refuses to listen, tell it to the Church. 

“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church…” (Matthew 18:17a)
Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do 
with him. (Titus 3:10)
I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way 
that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are 
not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the 
minds of naive people (Romans 16:17-18) 

4.  If he still refuses to listen let him be as a publican and sinner. 
Be filled with grief. Put the individual out of the fellowship.

“…and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax 
collector." (Matthew 18:17b)

And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your 
fellowship the man who did this? Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. 
And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. When 
you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of 
our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be 
destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. (I Corinthians 5:2-5)

5. If he repents, forgive, comfort him and reaffirm your love for him 

The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to 
forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, 
therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. (2 Corinthians 2:6-8)

6.  Restore him gently 

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch 
yourself, or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)

7. Set no limits on your forgiveness and keep no record of wrongs:
Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I 
forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell 
you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times [or seventy times seven]. 
I Corinthians 13: 4-5 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is 
not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record 
of wrongs. 
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Posted at "Ask OldTimer" 
www.members.tripod.com/~KarleenP/text/askoldtimer.htm