When I was a teenager, I had a LOT of fear! My
father was an alcoholic and my life was miserable. There was constant poverty, fear,
tension and pain.
I was tormented by nightmares, saw
"things" I'm not sure if were hallucinations or demons. What
ever they really were, I was in a
constant state of fear. It was horrible. My mom and grandparents were Christians, and so
was I, but I was NOT walking in victory.
Sometimes I feared for my life and sometimes I
wanted to take my life, I can't really explain it to you any better than that. I knew I
was a Christian and that I should have peace according to God's Word, but I didn't have
it! Why? I asked. Why am I being tormented so?
I started to deeply study the Word, to fast and to
pray. And I found that in Jesus Name I have authority over all of the demons, over satan,
over fear! I learned how to do spiritual warfare. The Bible says "The weapons of our
warfare are not carnal (of the flesh) but are mighty through God to the pulling down of
strongholds, casting down vain imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself
against the knowledge of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).
I began reading the Word, and realized I didn't
really want to die, just to not live the life of torment I was in! "I shall not die,
but LIVE and declare the wondrous works of the Lord!" (Psalms 118:17).
I also learned that God has not given us the spirit
of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). If God didn't give me this
fear - where did it come from? The devil! And the Word says I have power over anything the
devil sends my way.
I realized that the fear, spirit of suicide,
depression, etc. were NOT from my Father God who dearly loves me, but from the enemy of my
soul who was trying to destroy me! If fear was from the devil, I could defeat it. I began
to study spiritual warfare! I learned that fear is a force I can overcome by my faith!
So I was a bit afraid, but I thought, what have I
got to lose? The next night, when I began to fear, I said, "FEAR, I come against you
in the Name of Jesus! I bind you and rebuke you and cast you out in Jesus Name!" It
left! Then it came back! I cast it out again! It left! It came back! But it took a little
longer this time! I kept up the battle all night, but I began to realize that fear cannot
stand the name of Jesus, and neither can any other work of satan! (Matthew 18:18)
The next night, fear tried to come against me again!
I rebuked it in Jesus Name again! It didn't try so hard this night. The next night I got
more victory and the next more, until hallelujah the nightmares were GONE!
I'm not sure what the time frame was now, maybe
about two weeks or so, but when the devil realized I meant business in Jesus Name, he left
me for a season. Yes I've had to fight both fear and the spirit of suicide since, but it
was a losing battle for satan, because I know "greater is He that is within me than
he that is in the world" (1 John 4:4).
It is NOT God's will
for us to live in defeat.
Defeat doesn't grow in heaven.
"Praise God who ALWAYS causes us
to triumph in Christ Jesus"
(2 Corinthians 2:14).
"For I am persuaded that neither
life nor death nor angels nor principalities nor powers nor things present nor things to
come nor height nor depth nor any other creature can separate us from the love of God
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord!" (Romans 8:38-39).
"For God has not given us the spirit of bondage
again to FEAR, but the spirit of adoption whereby we cry ABBA (Daddy) Father!"
Through much sorrow and fear, I've learned to trust
God, not only when I was a teen, but as an adult as well. And those times when I was far
from God, when I was mad at Him because of circumstances, those were times that the devil
tried to oppress me again. And those were the times that I recalled the lesson learned
from nightmares - how to fight fear with the Word of God!
Also read my poem: Fear Makes Us Bow